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Some Thoughts I Write To Leave Behind by Morning-meadow Jones


Photo Credit: Aaron Burden for Unsplash


Will come a time I’ll be dead and gone

And my children will live on

I put some things aside for them

Mostly the things are thoughts

Converted to lines of characters

Saved to hard drive folders, files

Stashed in the back of sock drawers

For descendants yet to come

Because there are things I want to tell them

Things that might be helpful to know Stuff

like

There’s no such thing as Good Old Days

Though happy memories possess real power

Seriously, take the time to store some up

They’re important for survival

We sip sustenance from those steam-sealed jars

Of sweet recollection

On dreary days of drought and doubt

When honey is hard to come by

However, it’s also true that


The very best day is the present day

The one that’s got you in it

It’s the only day in which you have power to act

So take action, make the day good, and live

it And another thing


You’re allowed to dislike me and despise my decisions

Half the time I didn’t know what I was doing The

other half I thought I did

Then found I was mistaken

But maybe it’s ok to have a human ancestor

Instead of some exalted hero

Perhaps sometimes you’ll be uncertain about things

Or mess up just like I did

If so, it may come as a comfort

To realize perfection’s over-rated

I arrived in this world knowing zip

A complete beginner, a newb

I learned stuff from my parents

And the society I was born into

Lots of it was beautiful

Especially things from Mom and Dad

But let’s face it


Some of it was pure poison

Please understand

My parents didn’t hurt me purposely

They did their very best, considering

Their parents poisoned them

That’s how the generations go

Each one toiling at our task

Reaping crops we didn’t sow

Harvesting aftermath of megalomaniacs

Mercenary merchants, twisted teachers

Who planted pernicious pride and lies

In seasons centuries before us

It’s a constant process of plucking out

Reclaiming space for seeds of our choosing

Just remember to pull it up by the roots Dig

it out deep, or that mess grows back

Anyway


Despite the noxious poison

Despite the existential pain

The limitations of my ignorance

The humiliation of my incompetence

The private double agony

Of mediocrity and shame

Still I’ve made a life, I’ve loved people

And many loved me back

And I’ve seen a shimmering sheet of rain sweep

Down a mountain like a gauzy curtain being drawn

I’ve seen frost-lace woven upon window panes

And dust motes dancing at sunbeam balls I’ve seen

a cluster of glorious orange flowers grow From a

single, shrivelled seed

I once sang a song just to make an old man smile

I’ve comforted a child who wanted only me

And I felt


Both so puny and so powerful in that moment

Because they wanted only me

And my kiss could heal a bleeding

wound And my voice could make dreams

sweet My embrace could stop the world

From spinning around too fast

Creating calm complete

What I mean is that

It’s possible to have a joyful life

Living by the skin of your teeth

And really, what I’m most proud of

The most amazing, wonderful

thing Is you


Somehow (How?) despite my

shortcomings Life bestowed this precious

gift

A small role in the sacred summoning

That set in motion your soul’s birth

You are so magnificent

You’re remarkable

You are splendid

You’re a brilliant, blazing star

Child, I’m dazzled by your awesome light

Even seeing you from afar



Morning-meadow Jones is an American junior high school dropout, who later went on to realize her full potential and drop out of college too. She's a mother, migrant, and memoirist, writing from her home in Wales, UK. When not parenting or penning prose, she enjoys picking her ancestors’ pockets, pilfering their old ticket stubs and true stories.

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